a Review of the Milounge Human Dog Bed
I bought a giant dog bed. This is a review of it.
Before I start, I should note that I am reviewing this thing from a very odd perspective. I am therian, meaning I don’t identify as human, and while my species identity is fairly fluid, cat and dog are my two most common species moods. I’m also autistic and highly sensory-seeking, especially for tactile sensations, and especially for fluffy feelings, so I am way more predisposed to like this thing than most folks, as it is both identity affirming and a sensory thing for me. I’ll try to keep this review useful for others, but the only perspective I can write from is my own, and my own perspective is probably biased towards the product.
When I first got the bed, it came in a big cardboard box containing three parts in vacuum-packed plastic bags that were REALLY annoying to unpack. The outer cushion was packed in two layers of vacuum plastic and a ton of tape, and was difficult to get out of the packing - I was very worried I was going to break the thing (the trick is to cut the zipties) and the mattress was the same, and also shipped with a big fold in it, but this came out of it and it went back to being properly flat after about half an hour out of the packaging. I understand why they did this, because fully unpacked the thing is HUGE - mine sits on top of my (traditional human style) double bed, and takes up almost all of that footprint.
The mattress forms the bottom of the bed, and the cushion makes up the “walls” of the bed, and they’re all held in by the faux fur cover. Unfortunately, assembling these parts into the bed is a bit of a pain, as the cushion is in a big zip pocket around the outside of the cover which is annoying to align and the mattress can easily slip out of alignment with the rest of the bed while putting it together leading to a gap between the edge of the mattress and the start of the cushion, which can be uncomfortable.
Once it’s properly assembled, this thing is RIDICULOUSLY comfy to snuggle up in. I’ve been sleeping in it for the past while and (aside from a few rough nights due to other factors) I feel like I’ve slept well. The mattress material is very comfortable, feeling firm enough to be supportive but soft enough to be comfortable, and the cushion is also very nice. The cover is made out of a wonderful faux fur material that is incredibly soft and fluffy with no roughness whatsoever and is just so good, like, I just want to spend forever in it. I love lying in the dog bed to read, to generally relax, to sleep, it is the most comfortable thing I have ever been in. The walls provide such a sense of security, and I can curl up in it nicely. I also like sitting in it when I’m practicing balisong flipping - it provides a nice safe landing spot for the bali when I drop it, and the walls stop it from flying way across the room if I make some fumbles. I’ve even slept in it with another person - although it isn’t really designed to fit two, it’s possible if you snuggle up close together, and that’s also nice in its own way (as long as you’re both very comfortable with each other).
So, despite its issues, I absolutely love this thing. If the idea of having a dog bed big enough you can sleep in it is one that appeals to you enough that you feel like you can justify the cost (and you can afford to spend 150 pounds on a dog bed), I’d say get one. If you do not find the idea itself feels like something you need in your life, I’d give it a miss. This is a product that will be absolutely wonderful for some specific folks like me, but most people will probably just see it as at best a comfy gimmick.
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